If you want to see a grown man cry, please visit the Alamo Downtown on Wednesday night. The beers will be flowing like the winds of change. Yes, it is the final countdown. Not the next-to-last final countdown, the actual final countdown. Last AFS tomorrow, last day at the Alamo is Wednesday.

Also, I’ve got to tip one out for Ray Regis. Seib called me Friday to tell me that our friend has passed on. I’m not going to pretend we were best chums, but for two years he was my boss and my teacher. That means he was my friend. To loose him is the same as loosing the Alamo. Film school is on hiatus for retooling. Ray was a perfect example of the old school Gentleman. He was Class. He was, as Dennis Hopper said in Blue Velvet (thanks Ray for the first time seeing that one on the big screen), “Suave.” The man brought his own ice cubes to mix drinks with. He was the biggest collector of Technicolor that I know of, and just one hell of a good person. I will always remeber seeing him in the booth at NCSA (diaper factory) with his white gloves on, glasses on the end of his nose, and talking about the changeovers in his Boston accent. Outside of Gary Hawkins, HBO, and The Alamo, Ray taught me more than I can possibly tell you about films and being cool. Because in the end, Ray was just fuckin’ cool. He was one suave motherfucker. I’m glad I can say he was my friend. I’d cry if I didn’t think he’d get mad at me for being sad about his passing. Here’s to you Ray, a moment of silence.

Big news, people: AICN and the Alamo have arranged a special screening of Ratatouille hosted by Patton Oswalt this coming Monday. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you know I’ve been kissing Patton’s funny ass for years. Last night, at Hostel II, Tim announced that the second film on the bill Monday will be one of Mr. Oswalt’s new favorites, The Foot Fist Way. Screw the family fun stuff…Jody Hill, Danny McBride, and company have been making wonderful films ever since back in the day. You’ll hear about how awesome it is after the fact … and then feel like poop. Be there, people! I’m not asking nicely. I’m telling you…BE THERE! Support young talented filmmakers! Especially the ones that inspired me back in film school. Don’t believe me, check out some scenes here.

But before I can even get excited about seeing Fist/Foot, Jamaa Fanaka will be in town, live and in person, to present two of his classics: Welcome Home Brother Charles, and PENITENTIARY! Lars puts it best: “Director Jamaa Fanaka specializes in the smuggler’s approach to socially relevant film-making. He’ll sneak some serious shit past you like a jailhouse shiv while you’re looking the other way. ” Once again, I’m not asking you nicely to be there. I wish the Alamo turned 10 every month.

Check back soon to see Eli Roth getting his ass spanked with a cookie sheet. It really is something else and it needs to be shared with the world.

Four movies in one day is too much. It started at the Paramount with Spellbound. If you’ve never seen the film, you’ve got to watch the picnic scene with Ingrid and Gregory. “Which do you perfer…Ham or Liverwurst?” Howard Hawks was next. The Big Sleep. Wish my car was working so I could install a secret gun compartment. You know, in case me and some dames get into some trouble, see?

It rained in Austin tonight, so I was able to test the strength of my Porta Brace. Camera was dry as a bone. But, since my big toe bone is still f@#k3d from the Live Oak guy dropping a mini keg on it, it took 15 mintues to walk back to the Alamo where I just caught the tail of of Tab Hunter talking about how great it was to work with John Waters on Polyester. I’d never seen Polyester and god damn it is funny.

Then after the laughter stopped, it began again. Some of the good Ladies down at Sinsations put on a bondage show. In the end, they lit cookie sheets on fire and spanked Eli Roth’s ass numb before the sneak of Hostel II. I can’t review it without quoting my own review of Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth published some years ago in the Screaming Eagle. If you don’t have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all. So I’ll say that in his Q&A Mr. Roth came off as a nice guy who just wants to make fun movies for the audience. They may not be the best movies ever, but he…much like the audience, and girls…just wants to have fun. Any guy that’ll show a preview of New York Minute and have his ass whipped and spanked in front of the audience is okay with me.