For every idea that was ever stolen from me tossed out and shredded into fine strips of chlorophyll-filled goodness for taco filling, I’m most thankful that this one came to fruition.

Mac Lomax
1977-2007

R.I.P. Vincent Shiavelli

Raise up Bitches…It’s the b-day of baby Jesus! In case you didn’t know he has special magical powers. And since we are all Jesus it’s all of our birthdays, so lets give each other a bunch of crap. If I weren’t in Texas I’d give Doug a cigar, John his documentary, and Mac this doll. Please, for the love of God, somebody out there (Santa if’in your reading this…and I know you are) get this for Mac. A Merry XXX-Mas to all and to all…and to all lots of booze.

For those of you out there in the Austin area, Jerm from the Sinus Show will be delighting all our holiday “funny-bones” with an in depth look at Christmas -themed pornography. Nothing says, “Let’s celebrate the birthday of Baby Jesus” quite like a good Oh! face. It should be quite a show. I saw Jerm frolicking up the stairs at the Alamo yesterday with more porn than you could shake a double dong at. If you don’t make it out, you’re probably working, shopping, or busy burning copies of the new Harry Potter book while standing in line for the Chronic…als of Narnia, asking yourselves W.W.A.D. ? Hope to see you at the movies. The dirty movies, that is.

Well it’s the weekend after Thanksgiving, which means I forgot to wish South Fork a happy birthday. It was just a mere 365 ago that Mac said to me, “Get a camera and come over to my house tomorrow at 2 … we’re making a movie.” I rode over to his place with 301’s resident camera (aka Lance’s XL-1). As we drove through Hillsborough and the countryside surrounding Chapel Hill, Mac waxed poetic on several issues, ranging from cable television to God not wanting “bums” stinking up the world. It was also on this weekend that Mac introduced us to a “bobcat hybrid cheeta-thing.” Cameron was “deader than shit,” and Dave and Maggie were on hand to provide support. Ah … I wish I could post the picture of Bowser, Ma-Winter’s dog, posing with Santa.

Enough self-masturbation and reflection. On with the new. Oh yeah, happy birthday, Ol’ Boy.

Sweet Lord Jesus taking a crap on Karl Rove’s face, I wish I had Showtime:

The dizzying high point of Showtime’s new Masters of Horror series, the hour-long Homecoming (which premieres December 2) is easily one of the most important political films of the Bush II era. With its only slightly caricatured right-wingers, the film nails the casual fraudulence and contortionist rhetoric that are the signatures of the Bush-Cheney administration.

It’s part of Showtime’s Masters of Horror series, which also features work by Tobe Hooper, John Landis, and Dario Argento.

(Homecoming comes to us from Joe Dante, director of Gremlins–which the insufferably cantankerous and intimidatingly intelligent Harlan Ellison despised. As a child, the scene in the film that disturbed me the most was Phoebe Kates’s regression monologue about her Santa-costumed father dying in the chimney of her house on Christmas Eve. Imagining that happening to my own dad was incredibly unnerving–much more so than the gremlin biting off the schoolteacher’s hand. In retrospect … well, that shit is hilarious. But I digress….)

[via MonkeyFilter]

This week the Association of Moving Image Archivists has ascended upon the great city of Austin for their yearly convention. Since I am not a member or an Archivist, and I’ve been cut early from work every day this week, I’ve been pretending to be one. It’s great. I’ve been showing up to their seminars without a nametag and everyone thinks I’m the cool guy who doesn’t need one. And let me tell you I feel I was cut from the same cloth as these geeks … er … I mean custodians of our collective film history.

Last night the Alamo Downtown hosted a “Reels of Steel” competition. It’s just like one of those old fashioned DJ battles, and there was a fat silver chain and medallion to the one Archivist who produced the rarest and most entertaining films under 20 minutes in length. It was a truly remarkable affair. If you have ANY information on ANY of the films listed below, please come forth with your knowledge so that these talented people can be given the credit they are due. Here is a list of the films that competed:

1. Frank Film by Frank Mouris. I was able to find out a lot of info on Frank here on the internet by just googling his name.

2. Aaaaark - produced by the U.S. Air Force. I don’t know quite what to say about this one. It was just plain weird and I can’t find anything on the web about it.

3. The Reagans Speak Out On Drugs - Cliff Roth. Cliff did a wonderful job on taking the audio and cutting it up. You can hear it here. I felt cheated a bit ’cause Cameron turned me onto this film at VisArt several years ago on this compilation. It was still nice to see it on 16mm.

4. The Helpful Little Fireman - Coronet Educational Films. This film would have been great, but the spoket holes gave out and we saw it in bits and pieces.

5. Unclothed Encounters - ???. There were no credits on this animated classics. Nor can I find any info on its existence, so you’ll have to take my word on it. In this graphic film, with an entire Barbie doll cast, a housewife performs fellatio on a young boy scout while his father gives it to her doggy style. Then an alien with two “members” comes in and finishes them all off. And yes, we saw the claymated happy ending.

6. ??? - provided to Archivists by Leon Gucci. There is no way to convey the disgust and delight of the audience during this film clip. After some groovy full frontal belly dancing and some bad squibs, a muscular man whips a lot of bound and chained naked women until they bleed. Then he breaks the leg off a wooden chair and “violates” a woman with it while demanding a confession. Some choice pleas from the crowd … “Boo!” “Stop the movie!” “You’ve gone too far!” There’s nothing like sitting next to a stranger of the opposite sex and watching such a horrific act.

7. 33 Yo-Yo Tricks - P. White AKA Panther White. As this Google search result has proven … we want to know who this P. White is. The movie is simple. 33 Yo-Yo tricks, one at a time, by master yo-yo artist Daniel Volk. Dan, dressed in “Bedazzled” pants and an embroidered yo-yo blouse, makes it look easy. His Walking-the-Dog wasn’t as impressive as some of my personal favorites … Skin the Cat, Behind Bars, the Brain Twister, and Split the Atom. WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE POST THIS MOVIE ONLINE SO WE CAN ALL FEEL THE LOVE?

8. Kilroy Was Here - Brian Gibson and Jerry Kramer. You may recognize Mr. Gibson as the director of Poltergeist 2 and Mr. Kramer from Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker. This movie opened up for Styx on the ‘83 Mr. Roboto tour and it was so terrible it was great. You know, Mr. Roboto is just a being I’d like to leave to my imagination, but now it’s a bad ’80’s costume.

9. Time Lapse Bank movie- ???.

Yo-Yo tricks won the competition. And, well … I’ll have to post on the 70mm extravaganza tomorrow. This post is already too long. Thanks for reading it all Mac and Alec.

I don’t have a particularly soft spot in my heart for dirty hippies (all right, all right–they do usually have good drugs), and I wasn’t planning on seeing the pointless adaptation of Rent that just hit the googolplexes, but this is just sheer assholism:

The Magruder High grad said he remembered the encounter because of what followed: He asked the group for “a couple bucks,” saying he needed $5 to get home. One man waved a five in his face, then handed him two ones instead, smirking that “you only get what you ask for in life.”