S.O.T.B.

WOW! It’s been six months since my last post. A lot has happened since then and only half was caught on camera. And of that half, only .01% has been edited. I’ll save you all the long story of how my computer and camera both died because we Frankensteined them back to life. This is the first thing I’ve cut in several months. Big ups to Audio Porn & Alejandro Jodorowsky for the soundtrack. And thanks to Fantastic Fest for making it all come true.

RIP Don LaFontaine and Jerry Reed.

Any Hippie can play that mess.

Please note that Unknown channels Hendrix for 9 minutes, so be patient on the download.

A few weeks back Patton Oswalt came to the Alamo to talk about this little film he did with Pixar. He also brought with him one of his favorite new films. Here’s Mr. O. introducing Austin TX to The Foot Fist Way. After the screening of Jody Hill’s opus, he did a Q&A?

Big news, people: AICN and the Alamo have arranged a special screening of Ratatouille hosted by Patton Oswalt this coming Monday. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you know I’ve been kissing Patton’s funny ass for years. Last night, at Hostel II, Tim announced that the second film on the bill Monday will be one of Mr. Oswalt’s new favorites, The Foot Fist Way. Screw the family fun stuff…Jody Hill, Danny McBride, and company have been making wonderful films ever since back in the day. You’ll hear about how awesome it is after the fact … and then feel like poop. Be there, people! I’m not asking nicely. I’m telling you…BE THERE! Support young talented filmmakers! Especially the ones that inspired me back in film school. Don’t believe me, check out some scenes here.

But before I can even get excited about seeing Fist/Foot, Jamaa Fanaka will be in town, live and in person, to present two of his classics: Welcome Home Brother Charles, and PENITENTIARY! Lars puts it best: “Director Jamaa Fanaka specializes in the smuggler’s approach to socially relevant film-making. He’ll sneak some serious shit past you like a jailhouse shiv while you’re looking the other way. ” Once again, I’m not asking you nicely to be there. I wish the Alamo turned 10 every month.

Check back soon to see Eli Roth getting his ass spanked with a cookie sheet. It really is something else and it needs to be shared with the world.

Four movies in one day is too much. It started at the Paramount with Spellbound. If you’ve never seen the film, you’ve got to watch the picnic scene with Ingrid and Gregory. “Which do you perfer…Ham or Liverwurst?” Howard Hawks was next. The Big Sleep. Wish my car was working so I could install a secret gun compartment. You know, in case me and some dames get into some trouble, see?

It rained in Austin tonight, so I was able to test the strength of my Porta Brace. Camera was dry as a bone. But, since my big toe bone is still f@#k3d from the Live Oak guy dropping a mini keg on it, it took 15 mintues to walk back to the Alamo where I just caught the tail of of Tab Hunter talking about how great it was to work with John Waters on Polyester. I’d never seen Polyester and god damn it is funny.

Then after the laughter stopped, it began again. Some of the good Ladies down at Sinsations put on a bondage show. In the end, they lit cookie sheets on fire and spanked Eli Roth’s ass numb before the sneak of Hostel II. I can’t review it without quoting my own review of Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth published some years ago in the Screaming Eagle. If you don’t have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all. So I’ll say that in his Q&A Mr. Roth came off as a nice guy who just wants to make fun movies for the audience. They may not be the best movies ever, but he…much like the audience, and girls…just wants to have fun. Any guy that’ll show a preview of New York Minute and have his ass whipped and spanked in front of the audience is okay with me.

subject: Attn: Johnny Thunder Wardrobe Dept

Mr Grossman,

I’m having an issue with my wardrobe on set, perhaps you could help. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with the script and don’t regret turning down my contract with Disney to take on the project. It’s the super tight pants the 301 staff has lined up for a few of the action sequences. Its that while shooting a fight scene, I’m finding that the 301 films stock Jordache jeans are just to restrictive. They totally bind my legs, thus restricting my movement and crunching my nuts together during stunts. On set..when I go to kick the shit out a stunt man the 301 jeans ride up…….way up into my ass crack. As a result I’m fast developing a hella painful rash. So far this has helped to develop my character, but no doubt this will definitely affect the desert escape scene. An easy answer to this minor set back has been brought to my attention. Take some time to educate your self on The Chuck Norris action trousers. This seems to be a quick solution to the problem without going over budget. George Michael sported them in the Faith video. See if you can get a box of these for Sundays shoot. Either way we should still get together for golf on Monday, I just had my magnesium putter tuned up, you guys don’t stand a chance. Let me know. I reserved the country club for entire day..so we can get good and loaded with no interruptions this time around.

- Dave Nabisco

I think that about says it all.

Greetings dear readers. I haven’t made an original post in a spell. Haven’t had access to the inTARweb. But that don’t mean there’s been grass growing under my feet. No-no. There’s been a cadre of odd things happening since I escaped The Basement Of The Alamo. The Obama campaign came to town, then SXSW. The last week of March had Joe Dante, the Grindhouse premiere with QT & RR, and Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost presenting Hot Fuzz. Whew. I love living in Austin. Were else you gonna see all these wonderful filmmakers?

Spring is here and it has unleashed the New York City film beast within me. Ms. 45, Fear City, Street Smart, Art School Confidential, Cruising, and Angel Heart have randomly ended up in the video machine. My system was primed for this thanks to the Radical NY exhibit at MoMA that closed a few months ago. Street Smart, as Shivers promised, was awesome. And Ms. 45 proved that there actually were rapists on every street corner in the Garment District.

Retrospectives. It’s time to take a look at your old friend Michael Haneke again. But this time think of him as a smooth jazz aficionado. Thanks to Chale and the AFS for bringing the new 35mm prints of Haneke’s work to town. I cannot think of a more appropriate director to focus on for the last AFS run at the Alamo Downtown. The Seventh Continent made me fall in love with that song “I’m Your Lady,” all over again. I think I like it more than Sheena Easton’s “For Your Eyes Only.”

This all coming on the heels of Alejandro Jodorowsky’s El Topo & Holy Mountain. Sorry about the imdb link. I must now give myself to the mountain!

Back to New York City…be sure to check out The Budos Band and Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings. I’ve separated their performances in hopes of you being able to download them faster.

I almost forgot…I made the cut. And you get to see me from behind. When you’re watching Grindhouse, be sure to look over Eli Roth’s shoulder when he’s ordering shots at the bar. Don’t blink, because if you do, you’ll miss me walking gingerly though the frame. It’s from behind, but I’ll take what I can get. And for you readers not familiar with the Alamo downtown, right after the opening credits for Death Proof, there is a shot of the exterior. That’s were I’m at every day, even when I don’t have to work.

Thanks badman.

Since 301 didn’t turn over enough ducats in profit during the last quarter of ‘06, we’re doing all our Sundance reporting from Austin Texas. Yee-Ha! If you thought we were all pretty sad we couldn’t go last year and support the Fist Foot Way, we’re extra sad this year that we can’t see Snow Angels.

Snow Angels is the new film by Dave Green. I can’t say David Gordon Green’s name without mentioning both George Washington and All The Real Girls. I also can’t mention his name without thinking of Big sitting in a bathtub of ground chuck. He has also directed some cool Truth ads.

I know next to nothing about Snow Angels, but I’m really happy Dave has a new movie coming out. Can’t wait to see me some Tim Orr photography on the Alamo’s perfect silver screen. I can feel the colors pimp slapping me now. David Wingo on the soundtrack. Yeah! I hope it screens during SXSW.

And that’s the 301 Sundance report from Austin, Texas.