RIP Don LaFontaine and Jerry Reed.

A few weeks back Patton Oswalt came to the Alamo to talk about this little film he did with Pixar. He also brought with him one of his favorite new films. Here’s Mr. O. introducing Austin TX to The Foot Fist Way. After the screening of Jody Hill’s opus, he did a Q&A?

Another miserable, yet hilarious, 4th of July passes, and once again, We Are Not Making a Movie. I’m a pretty cynical bastard (not to mention a raging alcoholic and complete asshole), so this does not come as a suprise. I’ve come to expect the very worst in life because, gosh darnit, the worst is what usually comes to pass (I know, self-fulfilling prophecy, clinical depression, blah blah blah). That said, there is a shimmer of a glimmer on the horizon … in the hope that we will commence shooting [redacted] sometime in August … if I don’t die of some horrible illness between now and then, which is probable. The film will be dedicated to all patriotic Americans and friends of America, the Beautiful. Then, after we’ve been entertained by some silly shit for a little while, we can get back to the real business of kickin’ ass, taking names, and blowing shit up. Happy 4th of July and Go Fuck Yourself, everybody. Nah, just kidding. This truly is, as Steve-O so eloquently said, the High Time of Our Lives.

If you want to see a grown man cry, please visit the Alamo Downtown on Wednesday night. The beers will be flowing like the winds of change. Yes, it is the final countdown. Not the next-to-last final countdown, the actual final countdown. Last AFS tomorrow, last day at the Alamo is Wednesday.

Also, I’ve got to tip one out for Ray Regis. Seib called me Friday to tell me that our friend has passed on. I’m not going to pretend we were best chums, but for two years he was my boss and my teacher. That means he was my friend. To loose him is the same as loosing the Alamo. Film school is on hiatus for retooling. Ray was a perfect example of the old school Gentleman. He was Class. He was, as Dennis Hopper said in Blue Velvet (thanks Ray for the first time seeing that one on the big screen), “Suave.” The man brought his own ice cubes to mix drinks with. He was the biggest collector of Technicolor that I know of, and just one hell of a good person. I will always remeber seeing him in the booth at NCSA (diaper factory) with his white gloves on, glasses on the end of his nose, and talking about the changeovers in his Boston accent. Outside of Gary Hawkins, HBO, and The Alamo, Ray taught me more than I can possibly tell you about films and being cool. Because in the end, Ray was just fuckin’ cool. He was one suave motherfucker. I’m glad I can say he was my friend. I’d cry if I didn’t think he’d get mad at me for being sad about his passing. Here’s to you Ray, a moment of silence.

Big news, people: AICN and the Alamo have arranged a special screening of Ratatouille hosted by Patton Oswalt this coming Monday. If you’ve read this blog in the past, you know I’ve been kissing Patton’s funny ass for years. Last night, at Hostel II, Tim announced that the second film on the bill Monday will be one of Mr. Oswalt’s new favorites, The Foot Fist Way. Screw the family fun stuff…Jody Hill, Danny McBride, and company have been making wonderful films ever since back in the day. You’ll hear about how awesome it is after the fact … and then feel like poop. Be there, people! I’m not asking nicely. I’m telling you…BE THERE! Support young talented filmmakers! Especially the ones that inspired me back in film school. Don’t believe me, check out some scenes here.

But before I can even get excited about seeing Fist/Foot, Jamaa Fanaka will be in town, live and in person, to present two of his classics: Welcome Home Brother Charles, and PENITENTIARY! Lars puts it best: “Director Jamaa Fanaka specializes in the smuggler’s approach to socially relevant film-making. He’ll sneak some serious shit past you like a jailhouse shiv while you’re looking the other way. ” Once again, I’m not asking you nicely to be there. I wish the Alamo turned 10 every month.

Check back soon to see Eli Roth getting his ass spanked with a cookie sheet. It really is something else and it needs to be shared with the world.

Well, Jeff already has his own private hate squad on the On the Lot message board. Awesome! Personally, I thought Jeff was great. He got plenty of air time, he was confrontational, and he put that blow-hard know-nothing Marty Martin (Marty Martin?! Come on, how do you name your kid Martin Martin? What’s his middle name, also Martin? Very original.) in his place. Everything we love about Jeff. To me it seemed like that Marty guy had never been on a movie set before. There is no sympathy and no love lost in Hollywood.

Update: Check out this post from the On the Lot message board. Another Jeff vs. Marty post. It seems like something Seth would write, and the username scr0tum is also very Seth-like. Ahhh… it all just makes me chuckle very hardily.

T-Bone has come through in the pinch. I give much thanks. Million Dollar Weekend!

Note: I misspelled Thomas’ name in the credits. Sorry T-bone, it was late and I was tired.

subject: Attn: Johnny Thunder Wardrobe Dept

Mr Grossman,

I’m having an issue with my wardrobe on set, perhaps you could help. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with the script and don’t regret turning down my contract with Disney to take on the project. It’s the super tight pants the 301 staff has lined up for a few of the action sequences. Its that while shooting a fight scene, I’m finding that the 301 films stock Jordache jeans are just to restrictive. They totally bind my legs, thus restricting my movement and crunching my nuts together during stunts. On set..when I go to kick the shit out a stunt man the 301 jeans ride up…….way up into my ass crack. As a result I’m fast developing a hella painful rash. So far this has helped to develop my character, but no doubt this will definitely affect the desert escape scene. An easy answer to this minor set back has been brought to my attention. Take some time to educate your self on The Chuck Norris action trousers. This seems to be a quick solution to the problem without going over budget. George Michael sported them in the Faith video. See if you can get a box of these for Sundays shoot. Either way we should still get together for golf on Monday, I just had my magnesium putter tuned up, you guys don’t stand a chance. Let me know. I reserved the country club for entire day..so we can get good and loaded with no interruptions this time around.

- Dave Nabisco

I think that about says it all.

Here.

David Lynch came to Austin and brought his new movie with him. INLAND EMPIRE screened at the Paramount tonight. Seeing it at the Paramount was great, but seeing it from the nose-bleed section of the upper balcony made it even better. I didn’t want the movie to end. Others felt differently. To the 301 readers in Iran, yo, peep the limited release of INLAND EMPIRE in Tehran at the Farhang Theatre. Today, January 25th! You won’t be sorry.

Watch David Lynch talk about bliss and higher consciousness here!

Listen to David Lynch talk about INLAND EMPIRE here!